i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
