Why are handjobs necessary in class?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
