Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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