Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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