He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
