It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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