Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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