i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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