some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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