I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
