Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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