Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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