Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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