Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She even gives head with a lisp.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
