I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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