Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
