Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
