I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
