Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
