Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
