I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Boobs speak an international language.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
