so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
