Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
