who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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