OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
