Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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