Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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