I'm really into asian looking animals
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
