I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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