I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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