I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
