we have officially lost it.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
