I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
