Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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