Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
