let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
