I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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