he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
