thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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