when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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