Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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