Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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