i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
