idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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