Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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