If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Come see our sink grown plant.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
