She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Randomize
