Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
