well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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