i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
